Wednesday, August 29

Sadness


  Yesterday was the first day of school for Henry. He is 4 and will turn 5 in December. He was lucky enough to win a lottery seat to a terrific magnet school. The school however is about a hour away, which in turns means we get up really early to make a bus that will bring him. This in turn makes me really sad. Sad that he is moving on with a part of life without me. Sad, that after not being without him in four years I give up my baby to a stranger, a stranger driving him away from me on a bus. A bus that goes a long distance, on the highway.
I sit crying while typing this.
I do not know how mama's everywhere do this. It is by far one of the hardest things I have done...just sit back and watch him drive away. I hate not being able to talk to him or to hold him. I hate not being able to make sure he is safe and happy. I hate that he sits in the back of the bus alone. I hate that I do not know if another child was mean to him on the playground today. All of this what if's make me really scared and second guess my choice of sending him to school. I am not ready for this part of life. Maybe being pregnant had made me more emotional I dunno.

He, however is ready for this adventure. He loved the bus..said it was really bumpy in the back and super fun. He loved school, said he can't wait to go to school tomorrow to learn more Spanish
I know that he words should give me some peace but they don't...so I ask you...how did you get through it?

29 comments:

Danielle Hull said...

For all the neat, hands-on activities you and your hubby do with Henry, I really thought you might homeschool him. I usually drove my oldest to school, because I hated the unknowns of the bus. But now we hommeschool. I guess I couldn't handle sending them away any more!

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